nOtHing~

somehow, i've a weird feeling about everything i do now..feels like i'm missing something..well i'm not sure enough what's wrong with me, and still i'm looking forward to make myself finds it natural to me..


i've a lot of free time, yet i don't know how to spend it wise..
thinking about this, i starts to wonder
what is the most thing i wanted in my life..
and i appears to be so...blurry..


emptiness, i couldn't understand u anymore..
how i wish it slipped in my mind..

there's nothing..
nothing to tell..
nothing to say..
nothing to be good..
nothing in my mind..
nothing in this heart..
there's only null..
dull..
foul..
i've been this heartless..
emotionless..
as i can loudly speaks to anybody..
as i can continue living..
i don't have to care about them..
i don't have to worry about them..
i just need to think about me..
putting myself first in finding the happiness..
that's what a friend told me to do..
maybe i'm not even that kind of person..
i wish i could satisfy everyone's expectation..
but still, i'm just an ordinary girl..
i can't satisfy everybody..
not even the person that i care all the time..
************************************************
this is just a simple thing..
a simple thing that always run in my mind..
should i be honest to myself?
no?yes?
really, i don't know..
but seems like keep lying to myself is what i've done all this time..
i've enjoyed it..
really..