♥ Life never be that easy nor be that hard ♥
I’m typing my flow of life here, inversing it from feelings to words. Sometimes it might be difficult to inverse it, differentiate it from feeling to words. I wish I could scan my feelings and make it appear in sort of drawings or so. There’s time when I couldn't control my feelings.
It’s awkward as time runs so fast that u wish it slows down. Moving on, I think I need to think twice to decide whether is it seri iskandar is the best choice for my practical training.. I have to make sure that am I really want to work there or it just because mr.fallinginlove are working there.. Well, we don't always get all thing to go our way kan. And MAN, it's too difficult to understand them..
Actually yesterday is was my birthday and I got free calling for maxis-maxis.. and then I called all my friend from seri iskandar included mr.fallinginlove. But I can't reach him and the line is like bz. So I decided to send him a short message. And then he replied, 'who is this?' Ok, fine.. I don't give a damn pun.. Cz even my close fren pun slalu jgk mcm tu. Then I replied 'this is ariana la.' And then he replied 'talk tomorrow noon ok' which make me felt like am I disturbing him or what? Maybe dia rply tu lain, but I bce lain and then I jd over sensitive. I can't even think a suitable word to describe it but one thing that I know, it quite hurts :( I already told myself from the beginning about the consequences that will probably happen, tapi hati memang macam ni, selalu taknak dengar cakap.
if dia pnat or bz or not in the mood to talk to someone, just mention it kn.. Or why not we just reply2 msg je.. No need to give an order like that. I know, actually I can't think it in negative way cz maybe dia x mksud pun nk rply or lyan I mcm nak xnk plus dia mmg btol2 tired or bz and maybe dia tgh drive ke and he just don't want to tell me that dia tgh drive n call dia esk sb tkut I tnye nk gi mane n so on.. Cuma is like he think that I have something important to discuss padahal I just nk tnye kabar je since da lme x dgr cite psal dia..
" so if i happened to hurt you, please stay and say all the good things that i want to hear because if you are in such situation, i will do the same. i will stay and i will say all the things that you want to hear and i will give you all the confidence you need and i will make you stand again on your feet. that's what i will do." (mr.fallinginlove,2009)
Actually, I'm tired, tired of everything especially LOVE. I'm tired already because I'm fallen in love with the wrong person and wishing that he will be my life partner and so on. It just like wasting my time to think about it all the time even though I know it wouldn't happen cz I know I'm not pretty, smart and great as his ex-girlfriend.
Sometimes it’s not just all about the look. I quoted this somewhere as my eyes wildly scanned the thousand words that appear. I’m feeling intimidated as i saw me as a minute human with zero perfection.. I’m very timid to be compared to her, and I’m far away to reach perfection.
I somehow discovered my greatest fear in my 23 years of living. I feared of getting rejected. I feared of getting 'no' as an answer, even as an immediate answer. I know that sound uncivilized but, i just couldn't endure it.
and now.. call him back or just forget it?
It’s awkward as time runs so fast that u wish it slows down. Moving on, I think I need to think twice to decide whether is it seri iskandar is the best choice for my practical training.. I have to make sure that am I really want to work there or it just because mr.fallinginlove are working there.. Well, we don't always get all thing to go our way kan. And MAN, it's too difficult to understand them..
Actually yesterday is was my birthday and I got free calling for maxis-maxis.. and then I called all my friend from seri iskandar included mr.fallinginlove. But I can't reach him and the line is like bz. So I decided to send him a short message. And then he replied, 'who is this?' Ok, fine.. I don't give a damn pun.. Cz even my close fren pun slalu jgk mcm tu. Then I replied 'this is ariana la.' And then he replied 'talk tomorrow noon ok' which make me felt like am I disturbing him or what? Maybe dia rply tu lain, but I bce lain and then I jd over sensitive. I can't even think a suitable word to describe it but one thing that I know, it quite hurts :( I already told myself from the beginning about the consequences that will probably happen, tapi hati memang macam ni, selalu taknak dengar cakap.
if dia pnat or bz or not in the mood to talk to someone, just mention it kn.. Or why not we just reply2 msg je.. No need to give an order like that. I know, actually I can't think it in negative way cz maybe dia x mksud pun nk rply or lyan I mcm nak xnk plus dia mmg btol2 tired or bz and maybe dia tgh drive ke and he just don't want to tell me that dia tgh drive n call dia esk sb tkut I tnye nk gi mane n so on.. Cuma is like he think that I have something important to discuss padahal I just nk tnye kabar je since da lme x dgr cite psal dia..
" so if i happened to hurt you, please stay and say all the good things that i want to hear because if you are in such situation, i will do the same. i will stay and i will say all the things that you want to hear and i will give you all the confidence you need and i will make you stand again on your feet. that's what i will do." (mr.fallinginlove,2009)
Actually, I'm tired, tired of everything especially LOVE. I'm tired already because I'm fallen in love with the wrong person and wishing that he will be my life partner and so on. It just like wasting my time to think about it all the time even though I know it wouldn't happen cz I know I'm not pretty, smart and great as his ex-girlfriend.
Sometimes it’s not just all about the look. I quoted this somewhere as my eyes wildly scanned the thousand words that appear. I’m feeling intimidated as i saw me as a minute human with zero perfection.. I’m very timid to be compared to her, and I’m far away to reach perfection.
I somehow discovered my greatest fear in my 23 years of living. I feared of getting rejected. I feared of getting 'no' as an answer, even as an immediate answer. I know that sound uncivilized but, i just couldn't endure it.
and now.. call him back or just forget it?
Comments
Post a Comment